i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
