Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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