guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
