Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
