I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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