How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
