Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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