road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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