If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
