Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Small penises have feelings too.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
