Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize