I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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