rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
