so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
