I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
