i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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