My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
