I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do you still have your period?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
