He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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