I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
