You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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