didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
