hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
