dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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