Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
