it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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