I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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