do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
