I hope mine doesn't look like that
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize