no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
nutella sex= disaster
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Randomize
