Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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