the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Screwed.edu
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
