New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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