piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
