If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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