maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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