I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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