U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Come on in and take your pants off
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