Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
time to smoke my breakfast
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i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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