I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
