please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
