SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
