Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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