Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
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and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
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Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize