I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
