a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
