ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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