apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The feeling are messing with the penis
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
