I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
