my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
