on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
