Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
