Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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