so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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