I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
