that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
