DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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