Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
there's paper in my vomit.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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